Merlin and Morgana oneshot
by Selkie-smile
Summary: There are rules of engagement in any court, and not everyone has the same code.


Merlin approached the Lady Morgana's chambers with trepidation, heart pounding. He couldn't tell her of his own magic, for too many reasons, not so soon after Gwen had been had to tell her _something_ though. He might not be a Seer the way she was, but he had uncomfortably acute instincts, and occasionally dreams which felt too real and left an impression, even without details. Not that he'd tell Gaius after watching the treatment 'offered' to the Lady. Gods let him not be making a huge mistake.

He knocked gently, knowing she'd be awake, she would be expecting him anyway, and barely slept even _with_ the draughts.

"Milady?"

She opened it, and her expression was so broken that Merlin's decision was made for him.

"My Lady. May I… May I come in? I have a message.." It sounded weak to his own ears, but this was hardly a topic to discuss in a passageway.

Morgana nodded, no sign of the usual warmth evident, alarming at best.

He entered anyway. Setting down the vial on her bedside table Merlin turned towards her, realising that he was trembling. Great.

"What is this really about Merlin. Gaius sent no message with you. He never does."

Merlin swallowed hard. Arthur may be obtuse, not so Morgana, for a Lady of the court, that was often deadly,she couldn't afford to be unobservant.

"What you asked me earlier Morgana… please try to understand. Uther doesn't require proof… or evidence. It's a very dangerous business speaking against certain laws, however irrational or unjust. You have a measure of protection, but it extends to no-one else. Not even your loyal maid. Anyone even suspected of… disagreement with the established order… doesn't risk themselves alone. They put family, friends, customers under suspicion. Think for a moment and count how many of mine have spent time in the king's dungeons already. Even answering the question is enough. I want to help, so much, but I can't risk anyone burning for _my own_ choices. I won't. The people I suggested you seek earlier? I have...contacts, I know where to find them, but they are at even greater risk. We'd need to be _very_ careful not to be caught. Can you do that? Keep a secret from them all while I make certain arrangements?"

Morgana was stunned, gathering her wits enough to respond she snorted, " _Really Merlin?_ You have to ask? Arthur's right. You're an idiot."

Merlin still had to be sure. "I mean it Morgana. I need one more promise from you." His voice was firm, uncompromising, she raised a brow at his presumption. "I need you to promise me not to try and find out who they are, not to follow me. Every person who knows an identity or place is one more who can give it away, and not always willingly." He held her gaze and Morgana began to truly understand that Merlin was far deeper than anyone realised, even she who prided herself on her perception and observation skills. Arthur truly had no idea what his servant was capable of she thought. "Yes Merlin, You have my word. If you truly think it may help me, I will not look, though I cannot promise that I will not _see._ " The young man smiled at her joke.

"I can't stay longer Milady. There is more than one thing that a man may be executed for, and suspicion of staying too long in your chambers, lovely as you are, probably falls into that category." He risked a wink as he left quickly, hoping that his face was blank enough not to indicate anything of the hushed conversation he had just shared with the Lady of Camelot. He hadn't been exaggerating about the risks. Dragon puzzles aside, he had unintentionally almost caused the death and torture of more than one person he cared about, it wasn't an experience he was eager to repeat.

That night Merlin fell in the door and tried to avoid eye contact with Gaius, the man was alarmingly good at reading him. Pouring himself some water he went straight to his room without a word. Gaius was sure something was going on, but in light of Merlin's recent visit to Lady Morgana elected to wait until morning to address it. A young lad his age could have very different reasons for going straight to his bedroom, and Gaius was happy to avoid _that_ sight as long as possible.

As soon as the bedroom door closed behind him Merlin threw himself on the bed with a groan. He really needed to sleep, but he could hardly ask Arthur for time off to research and practice carefully he removed the loose board and took out the magic book, turning to the section on telepathy. The book insisted that it only be attempted under supervision _and_ with a guide, but he had neither and surely it couldn't be _that_ difficult. After all, the dragon had no problem talking to him, right?

Pushing the dragon to the back of his mind Merlin read every word, twice. He couldn't afford to get lost.

As instructed he lay down, getting comfortable, and closed his eyes; breathing deeply he began to gently push forward his mind, searching for someone with magic of the correct type.

At first it was easy, but as he went further he began to understand why a guide was recommended, rushing over the land he felt free, increasingly distant.

Just as he was beginning to question the wisdom of continuing he caught a wisp of the right type of mind and latched onto it, hard. Feeling the shock of the druid man he heard the mental gasp of _Emrys!_ Merlin grimaced. He didn't like the avoidance of his name, or that no-one had told him what it meant. It didn't matter today.

" _What is your name, friend?"_

A pause. Well, he probably wasn't expecting an unannounced invasion of Merlin's mind that night he supposed.

" _Aglain. I am the Chieftain of our clan."_

" _I greet you Aglain, I need the help of your people, I am sorry to ask but you were the closest person I could find who would be capable of this task"_

Well, That certainly aroused his curiosity, but he wondered what Emrys could need _his_ assistance for.

" _It is an honour to be asked by my Lord Emrys. We are...not close… to Camelot currently, but if it is within my power, I will help you."_ Aglain could feel the relief wash over him, clearly whatever it was was important to Emrys.

" _I have a friend, here in Camelot. She is a Seer, and has certain other gifts which have begun to manifest, it is not safe for her to remain here, and I do not have the experience or time necessary to teach her control. She is scared of the magic, terrified. I promised to find help for her. Please, would you be willing to teach her, ease her fears?"_

Aglain was quiet as he made some calculations.

" _Meet me in one week Emrys, bring her to me at sunset and I will take her to our camp. We will break camp in two days and travel in your direction. Here."_ Aglain sent an image of the place he needed to take the Lady. " _May the gods watch over you Emrys. Keep her alive until then."_

Merlin shivered. " _Thank you Aglain, may they protect your clan too."_ He broke the connection and began to panic as he realised he couldn't remember how to return. Trying to calm himself he focused on the reason for all of this. He couldn't get lost, he had to return, Morgana needed him to return or this was for nothing. Fixing her in his mind he saw a bright mind and knew it was hers. SHe was the anchor to follow home. Then he was back in his body, in his own bed, struck by an intense pain in his head he groaned and pressed his head into the flat pillow to block the light.

That prompted another groan, light meant it was morning, and that he was late for work. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't. Gaius came rushing into the room in full physician mode, concern etched on his features. "What? What is it Gaius?" His throat felt surprisingly dry.

"What is it? My boy you've been in some kind of trance, all of yesterday and last night. Completely unresponsive. You left your magic book out so I'm going to assume you did this to yourself somehow."

"Mmph. Did. Worthit."

"I certainly hope so, Arthur was in quite the temper when you were absent yesterday." Merlin could _feel_ the eyebrow of disapproval.

"Ssh. Hurts." Gaius sighed and shook his head.

"Drink this. Quickly. It should help with the headache, then you can tell me what exactly you thought you were doing."

Dragging his body upright Merlin did as he was told, "Oh gods Gaius, that is disgusting, even for you!"

Gaius shrugged, "That may be, but it works. Now, what on earth were you doing to put yourself into that state?"

Merlin inwardly cringed, Gaius would not be happy about any of this.

"Trying something. I just read something and wanted to try it, I didn't think it would take so long."

"Dare I ask _what_ you were attempting Merlin?"

Merlin cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound less reedy. "Probably best not to, no."

Gaius sighed and stood to leave, "Fine. Try not to do anything _too_ idiotic for a while. Eat something, wash- because whatever you did was apparently strenuous, and light duties for the next day. Remember to drink plenty to make up your fluids. Otherwise I can supply effective remedies but they will make the last one seem like honeyed mead."

Shuddering at the barely veiled threat Merlin struggled upright, relieved that the pain seemed to have subsided a little. "Got it. Don't do anything stupid, wash, drink. Wait- does Arthur know? Please, please tell me you didn't say I was at the tavern again."

Gaius smirked, "Next time perhaps. This time you tripped and sustained a head injury."

Great. He wasn't sure whether it would be worse having Prince Arthur torture him for an assumed hangover, or mock him mercilessly for being 'such a girl' and incompetent at walking. It was close. The door closed behind Gaius unnaturally loudly, all he had to do was get through the rest of the day without being mentally yelled at by a bloody sarcastic dragon.

Or someone guessing what he'd done. Gods, his temples were still throbbing badly, he'd just _have_ to cheat this time. Muttering the appropriate spell Merlin slipped a shirt on and went down to have breakfast. He studiously avoided meeting Gaius' gaze, the old man had a horrible habit of guessing exactly what Merlin didn't want him to know.

Setting aside the mortar and pestle Gaius sat down across from him. "I know a lot has been going on lately Merlin, but please, don't forget that you can talk to me if something is troubling you." Merlin shook his head. He'd already tried that. Talking to Gaius about Morgana was futile, he'd set his course long ago and was convinced it was the right one.

Merlin was extremely dubious about his own. He just knew that Morgana didn't deserve to live in terror. No one should have to live waiting for the day they were discovered and burned, but to watch Morgana suffer alone was too much. Perhaps it was too dangerous to tell her of his own magic, but he had to do _something_. He knew his magic well enough, and still he frequently scared himself. How much more must it be without anyone at all.

He rather suspected that if he _didn't_ find someone to help her he'd find himself becoming less and less restrained around her, and anyone who mocked her. Even if he didn't burn for magic, Uther would be quite happy to execute him for looking the wrong way at his ward.

Excusing himself with a pointed look at the position of the sun Merlin quickly washed, dressing in clean attire and making a mental note to wash the rest later.

By the time he got into the Prince's chambers it was well past breakfast, almost noon really, but since it looked as though the prat had had a tantrum about his absence.

All he had to do was make it through the day until he could deliver the sleeping draught to Lady Morgana that night.

By evening he was exhausted and aching all over, and seriously considering causing Arthur his own unpleasantness. Still he managed to drag himself up the many stairs to the Lady Morgana's chambers, hoping that he wasn't making a huge mistake.

The door opened before he could knock a second time, and he knew she had been waiting for him. The door closed gently behind him.

Focusing on his purpose in visiting her became much more difficult when he saw the revealing shift that skimmed her curves, and when he met her eyes, blushing, her smile was sly, showing him that his distraction had not gone unnoticed.

"Um..milady...That is Lady _Morgana_ , I made some enquiries, and there is someone who was happy to oblige me- I mean _you_. One week milady. I cannot come with you, but I will gladly escort you to meet with him, and he will take you the rest of the way. As I said, the fewer people who know something, the lower the risks, and my Lady, I would never wish to risk _you._ I know you won't say anything to endanger them."

She smiled openly for the first time in a long time, and lifted a graceful hand to his cheek

"Thank you Merlin. It's _almost_ like you believe me."

"I cannot fairly answer that my Lady, but Morgana there have _always_ been stories, and every story comes from somewhere."

It wasn't what he wished he could tell her, but the image of his mother's wounds, of Gwen condemned to the flames stayed him. Just.

So instead he returned the gesture, brushing a thumb across Morgana's lips, so close now to his own. Against his better judgement he leaned down, closing the gap to press a gentle kiss to them, drawing back before it could become anything more.

"I have to go Morgana, before I do something stupid. Well, stupider I guess, you always did make me crazy, and I _really_ need to save some of that craziness for later. Goodnight, _my_ Lady." He knew it was presumptuous of him but he couldn't help dropping a quick kiss to her hand before he left, walking as briskly as wouldn't rouse suspicion

On the other side of the door the Lady Morgana cradled her hand to her chest wondering just what she might be risking in fleeing Camelot to a people she did not know, on nothing but a servant's word. She shook her head. It wasn't the word of _a servant;_ it was on Merlin's oath, and if he could trust her this much, then she would trust him. She'd already told him she thought she had magic, and no-one had looked at her differently or clapped her in irons, so he couldn't have told anyone. Instead he wanted her to find someone who could help. Organised it himself even.

It never occurred to her to wonder where he might know them from, how he could be able to find a druid overnight when the knights were unable to do so in a month, and one willing to help at that.

The overwhelming relief drowning out logical thought, and confusion over his confidence and behaviour clouding her usual critical analysis of people's motivations and loyalties.

If she had remembered Gwen's father she might have realised just how much Merlin was risking in his choice to offer her his aid. Or of his own stays in the dungeons, without the favour of the King, but she was still at heart the daughter of a king, and it did not occur to her to think of their lives outside and separate to her own. In that moment of calm before a storm she forgot everything and everyone else, as for the first time in years she felt a true sense of hope.

No nightmares plagued her that night, a rare occurrence now.

Merlin lay awake to avoid his own, instead reading everything he could find on mind- to- mind communication, and searching for a way to avoid losing his way back to his body. It had been close the last time, and he knew he would not be able to resist checking on Morgana when she was far from them. This time he would be less reckless, he could no longer afford to be, and Morgana's loss of control had prompted him to take his own training more seriously than he had been. He'd felt her power. She was strong, very strong, but he knew his own raw power was greater. He didn't like to think about what might happen if he ever tried to use it all. If Morgana was frightened of her own, how would she react to his greater magic? Though she seemed unaffected by it so far, not like he could always sense hers. Perhaps she didn't care about other magics if they didn't interfere with her own.

When he fell asleep it was not to the same peace that Morgana found, but to a chaotic mess of images that seemed to be offering glimpses of possible futures, and of past, but he didn't have the knowledge to make sense of any of it and instead woke screaming, heart pounding.

The fact that _his_ guardian came in response to his screams was not lost on him, and in that moment Merlin found himself pushing aside all his doubts about Morgana seeing one who understood them and might be able to offer guidance. He wouldn't wish the gift of Seeing on anyone. Not even the one 'destined' to be his enemy.


End file.
